


Living is Dumb

by Quirkyasfok



Series: Zombies are Dumb [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, But Helpful, M/M, Most of the time, Stiles is gross, everybody is a supernatural creature, zombie!stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 23:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6170293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quirkyasfok/pseuds/Quirkyasfok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Stiles was disturbing but helpful and one time (of many) that he was disturbing and needed help</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living is Dumb

**Author's Note:**

> I really dig the whole zombie!Stiles thing

1

"The point is that if we go anywhere near these creatures we'll be killed instantly," Lydia said seriously, her eyes making eye contact with each member of the pack. "They sense heartbeat. If any of you get anywhere near them they'll kill you."

"Wait, they only sense heartbeat?"  
The pack turned to Stiles who was looking at Lydia curious. Lydia nodded.

"Well then I'll do it."

"Stiles didn’t you hear me? I said they'd kill you."

"No you said they only go after people with a heartbeat. I don't have one remember." The zombie slipped his hand under his shirt digging around, opening old stitched up wounds, before pulling his heart out with a pop and presenting it to the pack.

"See no heart beat."

The rest of the pack stared at the zombie in horror. Scott sighed and patted the zombie on the shoulder.

"Great so we've decided. Stiles will take care of it."

Stiles flashed his best friend a smile and blew him a kiss. Scott couldn't help but return it. 

\---  
2

Stiles groaned rubbing at the back of his head from where it had connected with the tree. It hadn't really hurt, but he wasn't really a big fan of having his brain rattled around like that. He looked up and watched the beast he’d been fighting grab Isaac and fling him around like an angry rag-doll. He reached for his bat only to come up empty handed.

Damnit.

The zombie looked around for something else to use. Seeing nothing but twigs Stiles took a different approach. He ripped off his own arm and bent it at the elbow. Next to him Isaac landed with a loud thud as the beast threw him then went charging at his next victim. Stiles let his limb fly, cheering when it connected hard enough to knock the beast to the ground then did a u-turn, and flying right back into Stiles’s hand waiting hand. Next to him Isaac stared at him disturbed. 

“Did you just use your arm as a boomerang?” 

“You bet I did!” 

\---  
3

“If we could just find a way to distract it.”

Derek looked pissed. Well more pissed than usual. Every time any of them would got close the creature would go into a spin attack that made it impossible to take down. If they could just distract it long enough to keep it from doing a spin attack they could take it down with ease. 

Stiles got an idea. 

The zombie made his way to the front of the group as he ripped his head off, and chucked it at the creature. The creature not expecting such a display reached out, and caught the head staring down at Stiles’s smiling face. 

“Hello.” 

The creature stared at him horrified. The rest of the pack was too focused on staring at the flailing headless corpse next to them to do anything else. Scott being the only one not affected sighed and ran at the creature tackling it and getting his friends head back. 

\---  
4

Stiles stood on his tip toes trying to get a better view of the inside of the warehouse from the window he was looking through. His left arm was raised upwards holding his dismembered right arm high into the air. His head was being held by his right hand. Two story windows meant nothing to zombies.

“You see anything.” 

Stiles used his wrist to turn his head.

“Hold on, not yet.”

Scott was the only one that didn’t seem bothered by the zombie totem pole. 

\---  
5

Stiles smirked as his hand came spider crawling back into the cage dragging a pair of keys with it. He looked smugly at Derek.

“Happy you got locked up with me now?”

Derek just glared in return.

\---

+1

“I thought you could control your body when your head gets knocked off?” 

“Yea, but it’s difficult to do when I have no idea where it is. Now use that super sniffer of yours and help me find myself.”

“Don’t push it Stilinski. I’ll gladly leave you out here to fend for yourself. Wonder how well you can defend off hungry predators as just a head.” 

Stiles glared up at Jackson. He’d gotten separated from his body earlier, and now had the unfortunate joy of having this douchebag carry his head around. 

“This is even worse than that time I lost my dick in Scott’s room.” 

“…What?”

“Nothing.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can send me sciles prompts here - http://scilesdrabbles.tumblr.com/  
> and nsfw sciles prompts here - http://kinkysciles.tumblr.com/


End file.
